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Who should do the first step?
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New!
OCT-20-05
19:7:45
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Who should do the first step?
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Submitted Anonymously
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Your situation reminds me of a seed growing into the process of a flower. CSD provides the furtile ground and a seed has developed (You really like the person very much), but I feel you should allow the flower to grow a bit (Just enjoy the friendship). Since both of you met each other for the very FIRST time, I feel its too premature to have a deeper relationship and start thinking about the question, "Who should do the first step?" Chating on CSD is one thing, but spending actual time together is another. There are so many dynamics in starting a new relationship that must be understood. You want to make sure it's love and not merely lust. I feel both of you should spend more time together like 3 - 6 months. After this time, I feel you can ask him the question, especially if he doesn't ask you and YOU really feel he's the one for you.
HeartMatters
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New!
OCT-19-05
15:48:24
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Who should do the first step?
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This is in response to the woman who was asking about the man who doesn't seem to be over his ex wife. I dated (in person..not online) a wonderful man for six months. I met him here and he lived only about 30 minutes away. He was a great guy with lots of the qualities that I'm looking for in a man, however, it became increasingly clear that he had not let go of the bitterness and resentment he had toward his ex. He'd talk at length about how she took 1/2 of his 401 K money, he'd get upset if his children called their stepfather, Dad. When his ex wife became pregnant in her second marriage he was very distraught. I finally came to the conclusion that there just wasn't room for me in his heart so I ended the relationship. He agreed with my observations and we parted on friendly terms. Fortunately I had done a good job of guarding my heart and I wasn't heartbroken when the relationship ended, although I did like him very much. I think that's the secret..try to keep feelings out of it as much as possible at first and ask God to continue to give you revelation about the other person, the status of their heart, and the future of any relationship.
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New!
OCT-6-05
0:23:7
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Who should do the first step?
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Submitted Anonymously
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LOL...I was just reading over the last letter I posted here...uhh,it looks like I can't spell. That's what I get for typing too fast...I can just hear my third grade teacher now "You didn't proof read"....and spell check...oh well...
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New!
OCT-4-05
23:41:13
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Who should do the first step?
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Submitted Anonymously
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Hummm, he's been divorced 2-3 years, has joined a dating site wanting to me someone new, yet he has conditions....I'd say he's a high risk for the simple fact he's hanging on so tightly to his past. That being said, that doesn't mean he's a bad guy and not worth waiting for. What you have to decide is....do you want to give this guy time to recover from his pain and divorce tramas? If he's not ready to date and start a new life without all the ex-wife baggage, he doesn't need to be up on the aution block... but he has to be commended for being honest with you. For me, I don't need a man in my life that is continually looking back over his shoulder. I've been there, done that...and I paid for it with a broken heart. She said, come on back honey and all I saw was...dust. It lasted two weeks for them, and he tried to come back to me, but the way I see it, I'm first choice or no choice at all....
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New!
OCT-4-05
8:29:25
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Who should do the first step?
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Submitted Anonymously
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What would you do if the man experienced a divorce - let's say 2 or 3 years ago, so that it's very probable that he still didn't get over it? So he lets you know he is interested in you but he is not ready to make this step to a new relationship yet. What do you think it advisable to do?
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