|
|
|
|
Vicious, Evil Rumors!
Categories: Dating, Pen Pals, Friends: Cyber Dating, Member Safety Online & Offline, Scam Warnings
This Post has been viewed 15402 times.
Submitted by: Nannette | View Member Profile | View Other Posts
Created: 5/11/2003
I wrote the below article in the beginning of April:
I am angry. A recent member of our site has spread vicious, vile rumors about a man of good report. It is not our policy to share this kind of thing with our members, but I believe there is a lesson to be learned from this and I want to dispel these false rumors from going any further since she has gotten another man to help her in spreading these vicious lies.
Here is the story:
I was recently contacted by a man of our site (we'll call him Mystery Man 1) who was writing on behalf of a woman who had told him that she had been raped and stabbed by a man on our site (we'll call him Mystery Man 2), that he had killed her dog, etc. This is only part of this vicious rumor, which I won't go into the other details.
However, this woman NEVER CONTACTED us about this. She evidentally only told this to Mystery Man 1.
So, as is our practice, if a member reports another member's activities in such a way, we first investigate their online mails to see if they are breaking any of our rules. So we investigated Mystery Man 2's mails and found out that this woman initiated the first contact with him by sending him our "You're Special to Me" big, red heart Smile. She then wrote to this supposed evil man and said, "I will always love you. Why would I ever stop? You are as sweet to me as the day I first heard your message on [another website].....you were it for me."
Of course, there were quite a few more emails exchanged back and forth that made it quite clear that this woman was NOT viciously attacked by Mystery Man 2 and that he was not a stalker of hers. But quite the contrary, that she was coming on to Mystery Man 2 and being very flirtatious, etc. In fact, her mails to him indicated that she had found her life-time love and he felt the same way.
So we told Mystery Man 1 that he was being played and that her acts were quite contrary to his reports.
But I got to thinking, why would she tell Mystery Man 1 such a thing? So I decided to check out HER online mails. What I found was quite surprising. She was playing several men at once! So when Mystery Man 2, the man that she had pledged her undying love to, wrote in his profile that he was "in a relationship" and put her name in his profile that he was seeing her exclusively, what could she do? What she did was make up a lie to Mystery Man 1! Of course if Mystery Man 1 saw Mystery Man 2's profile and read that they were in a relationship, he would realize that he was being played too! So instead, she made up this vicious rumor that this guy was a stalker, and all the evil things he had supposedly done, so that she could explain away why he would have her listed in his profile.
Now, even after Mystery Man 1 was warned, he is now "warning" other women on our site about this man, continuing to slander his character and telling them that our site knows about this but will do nothing about it. I am angry with him and have told him so! He has obviously been contacted offline by this woman and she has duped him yet again!
This all makes me quite sick when a good man's character is slandered!
This rarely occurs, but we have had reports of members on our site such as this, and here is our requirement: have a law enforcement officer contact us with proof and we will take action. None of these few people has ever had a law enforcement officer contact us!
I know some of you will be upset to hear that we "read" these people's online mails, but we make it clear on our mail page that we will read mails of people who are reported to us for their behavior. It is all done for YOUR safety, not because we have the time or inclination to sit around and read member's mails, because we don't.
But I want those who think they can spread a vicious rumor on our site to realize that they won't get away with it, because we will take the time to check into it! Of course, we will only investigate what has occurred on our website, as we cannot prove anything that is told to us offline. And that, again, is why we always recommend that you keep your relationship ONLINE until you get to know someone quite well!
I have stories I could tell you, that I won't, but PLEASE, be careful and prayerful and keep your communications online! And if you must take them offline, create a temporary email address that you can dispose of if things go sour. And don't give away your phone and home address until you have a few offline mails from this person. Because once communications go offline, their true color and motives can come out more.
Now I must say, this is a rarity, and the vast majority of our members are true, kind, Christian men and women who are truly seeking a relationship with the one that God has for them. But we must be careful and prayerful and ask God for wisdom to avoid those who would hurt us.
Our site has a reputation for being clean. Free from spam, free from scammers. We do take great efforts on your behalf. Our coding is designed to detect the phraseology of scammer emails and immediately delete the account and report it to us. If a scammer email gets past our detection system, as soon as a member reports this scam mail, we send out a mass notice to all people who have had contact with this person.
As well, as soon as a member tries to make payment with a fraudulent credit card that we are informed to PICKUP CARD, their account is immediately flagged for deletion, as these people are typically scammers.
Larry and I pray everyday for the protection and safety of our members. That God will grant you common sense and discernment and that He will keep our site free of evil and those who would harm you or us.
I sent the above article to a female member who had been "warned" by Mystery Man 1 about Mystery Man 2, and she had this reponse which she has granted us permission to share:
It's a very strong letter, which is good. It needs to be. I am upset also. I was stalked and attacked in the past, and so I am VERY sensitive about any type of behavior of that nature. That someone would make up a lie like that discredits honest, innocent women who have been victimized, and makes it harder for people to believe when these things really do happen.
I think it's an excellent idea to let the other members know what is going on. Usually, there is no profit in reporting false rumors, but in a situation like this, it is necessary. Hopefully, it will discourage others from doing the same thing. Hard to believe that things like this can happen on a Christian website, or that someone like her would even want to be on a website for Christians, but unfortunately, it is a sick world and it happens everywhere.
Thank you for keeping such a close eye on the activity of this site - I feel a lot better (and safer) now.
But wait! The story is not over! Mystery Man 1 was persuaded so well by this woman, that he decided to do a character check on Mystery Man 2 to prove to me that he indeed was a convicted criminal. (Even when the woman refused to give him the name of Mystery Man 2's parole officer, whom she claimed she had contact with... because she "just wanted to put it behind her.")
What were his results? $200 later, he found that Mystery Man 2 was in the clear and had done nothing wrong. A sadder, but wiser man.
But wait! The story is STILL not over!
A third man, we'll call... hmmm.... how about Mystery Man 3...wrote us, and contrary to our rules and recommendations, had received personal contact information from this same woman and contacted her offline. (She was only a member of our site for a few days, but stirred up so much trouble!)
He fell in love, dropped out of college to go to get married to her after SHE proposed, and then found out that she was living with her husband, who claimed to be her brother, and...
well... here is the message we wrote to all men on our website who had had contact with her in those few brief days.
This is a warning message in regard to member: TrustandObey77
For your safety, we are sending this to you whether you still have
an account with us or not because you were sent mail from her or you sent mail to her on our website and we want you to receive this warning before you are hurt or defrauded.
On April 4th TrustandObey77 joined our website. She deleted her profile on April 8th, but has caused a lot of heart-ache with some of our members since then.
Three men from our website have reported being defrauded, scammed, libeled and/or slandered by this woman. We have evidence from our website and from these men that this is true.
She is not widowed, but is in fact married and still living with her husband. She is not the occupation or denomination she claimed.
Please, if you are in contact with this woman, please let us know if you wish to be put in touch with any of the 3 men who have already been hurt by her. Do not believe what she tells you. She has pledged love to two of them and hurt them immensely. She has spread lies, involving rape and stalking, about another. We care about our members and do not wish to have any hurt by such a person as this.
May God bless you and may you always be careful and prayerful.
In short, we have rules to protect our members. We feel very strongly that you should NOT contact someone offline until you know them well, and never if they cheat and sneak personal contact information to you. If they are dishonest in the little things, they are likely dishonest in the big things. And if they make payment, they show they are serious about this, and not here to play games. Please abide by these rules for your own safety.
Update April 7, 2004: I just recalled that this woman was given opportunity by me to report her accusations to me. She refused to do so, and in fact, was quite hostile with me telling me not to contact her again. When a member tells another member that something serious has happened, yet refuses to report it to us, the owners, something is fishy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
